covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
