I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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