This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize