it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize