Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
