question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
