Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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