Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
