Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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