You're so nebulous sometimes
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
