even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
