Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
