Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
a search helicopter?!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
