Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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