Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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