people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize