reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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