Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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