I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
