nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
two words: eviction party
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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