I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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