Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
