Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
