my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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