He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize