Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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