my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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