would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
