my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize