just come out here and I will go home with you...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So many bounce houses so little time
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
