whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
