No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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