i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
