i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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