Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize