i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
