He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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