I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
