I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
