I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
