hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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