We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
