You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
