Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Vodka?
Forever.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
