I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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