all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
