we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
