I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
