Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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