....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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