there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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