yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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