CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
