i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just blew my weed a kiss
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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