there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
