Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
