I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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