If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
