Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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